Amber Grubenmann

About Podcast Coaching With Amber Login

How To Get HIM To Ask YOU Out

Many people believe that the way you get someone to ask you out is by being HOT.

 

I used to believe this as well especially when I would witness my beautiful friends getting approached by men when we would go out together.

 

As I started learning more about dating dynamics, I learned that there were certain things I could do to increase my chances of getting asked out by attractive men.

 

Now before we get started, one point I want to make is that I KNOW these results are based on what I am doing because as soon as I stop doing them (once I am in a relationship) men STOP approaching me. It’s as easy as turning it on or off.

 

Let me give you some examples of how I “turn it on.”

 

One day I went salsa dancing. I started to dance with a man there and he then asked me if I would like to go surfing sometime. Why did he ask me that? Because I led the conversation in a way to bring up fun things I like to do in my free time and things I would...

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How To Ask A Man Out (Without Seeming Too Needy!)

Most women don’t even realize that approaching a man and asking him out is an option!

 

In every movie we ever see, it’s always the man that initiates dating and we are led to believe that this is the only romantic way to begin a connection.

 

There are a few fears that can come up for women when thinking about asking out men:

 

Will I make it too easy for him? What about the chase?

 

When you ask someone out, the chase has just begun! Asking a guy out is kind of like saying “tag, you’re it!”

 

Seriously though… asking a man out is a courageous gesture but it in no way implies that he has already won you over just by sitting across from you at the bar.

 

As long as you create the space for him to also put in the effort and you avoid doing the work for him, you can still remain in alignment with him after asking him out.

 

Dating is not a game of who cares less! It’s okay to show some vulnerability in the...

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How To Make Rejection Hurt Less

Rejection is something you will most definitely face in dating AND relationships.

 

Most people subconsciously want to get into a relationship as quickly as possible so they can finally be free of rejection.

 

The truth is even once you are in a relationship, you will be rejected at times. Maybe they choose to spend time with friends instead of you one evening. Maybe you have a misunderstanding or an argument. Rejection is a natural part of life and we need to get friendly with it if we want to succeed in the long term.

 

If you don’t get friendly with rejection you will likely give up on things easily, take things personally, and have a much more painful dating experience.

 

Here’s another BIG truth: the more bold action you take in any given area of life, the more rejection you will experience in that part of life.

 

So I want you to adopt the following reframe: "If I’m not getting rejected frequently, I must not really be putting myself...

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5 Easy Steps To Create Your Tribe And Build Friendships

In this podcast episode, I shared the five steps I follow to meet new people and create friendships. (BTW this helps with meeting potential dates as well!)

Throughout my life, I have moved a lot. I am half Swiss and Half American and I had to learn how to create close friendships with people in a brand new place where I didn't know anyone. 

It can be really challenging to make new friends after High School and College or outside of work because even if you meet someone awesome you don't see them everyday which makes it challenging to build a connection. 

So I wanted to share a few tips to create those friendships. It takes more effort than when you naturally meet people through work or school but it's worth it!

Step 1: Meet As Many People As Possible. 

The most important part of this step is to cast your net WIDE. Make a goal for how many people you want to connect with any time you go out. Don’t be picky in this step, you’ll filter and find out who...

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You Have Value

If you’ve listened to recent podcast episodes you know that I have gone through a pretty massive transition recently. 

I quit my job.
I moved to a different state.
I fell in love with someone right before I moved.
We ended things.
I started a new job that I’m deeply passionate about.
I slept on an air mattress in my friend’s hallway. 
I moved into a temporary home. 

This transition, as expected, has brought up a lot for me emotionally. 

I have felt loneliness, which as an introvert is not something I am used to. 
I have felt anxiety and pressure at work as I am trying to go above and beyond what is expected. 
I have felt homesick. 
I have felt sad. 

I’ve also felt home, happy, laughed to tears, and all the other good things. 

It’s been a lot. 

Anyways, in my work, I obviously NEVER teach people “how to have ease, comfort, and be happy all the time.” 

I believe in being fully alive. I believe in feeling...

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Advice For Introvert- Extrovert Couples And Relationships

In today's video I'll be answering a listener question about how to make an introvert/extrovert relationship work.

By the way, they totally can work! It's just so important to understand the other person, who has different needs and desires than you. 

Here are a few tips to help you out:

1.) Communication is KEY.

As an introvert, I remember explaining to my boyfriend: "Just because I want to spend time alone, doesn't mean I don't like you!"

Sometimes the extroverted person in the relationship feels like the introverted person wants time AWAY from them. In reality, the introverted person just wants time WITH themselves.

That's a huge distinction. As the introvert, make sure you clearly communicate this to your partner.

2.) Learn how to create healthy boundaries.

In the beginning of the relationship I had a tough time setting boundaries because I didn't want to hurt the person. 

Overtime I realized that behavior was actually hurting the long-term potential of the...

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How To Meet Men In Person - OFFLINE Dating

In this video I share a few tips and ideas to help you get started meeting men in person. It's tough because online dating makes it so easy to stay in our shell and not practice creating opportunities in real life.

First of all, I am a huge supporter of online dating! I actually met one of my long-time loves on Tinder :)

The problem is, we want to make sure you also have the skill set of meeting people in person. Many people use online dating as a way of hiding from the real world and try to avoid rejection or discomfort. 

Here are some tips to help you meet men in person:

1.) Talk to everyone, not just the hot men!

You want to be the kind of person to talks to everyone, that way when you do happen to see someone you find attractive it's not a huge, special occasion! 

You naturally will know how to start conversation with people in different environments which will come in very handy when you see someone you like. 

Talk to the person next to you in line, talk to the...

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How To Keep Him Interested- Should You "Play Hard To Get"?

In this video I offer some practical tips for increasing desire and attraction once you started dating someone. Attract the guy you want in an authentic way.

Most women think that creating desire and attraction in the beginning of dating has to do with maintaining a chase. I don't really like this idea because it implies that you never actually get to be with the person! It sounds pretty exhausting to be constantly running away from the person you like. 

What I teach women instead is how important it is to be in alignment with the man you are dating. 

Most women lose the attraction of the man they are dating because they are out of alignment with him.

Here are some tips to maintain his interest without game playing:

1.) Meet him where he is at. 

You may have heard of the idea of a man investing in you and the relationship between you. It's very important to know what exactly constitutes an investment. 

There are different levels of investment.

The question you...

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Slow Down To Speed Things Up In Dating

This article is based on podcast episode #36: Slow Down To Speed Things up on the Women's Dating And Confidence Podcast.

The most attractive traits that you can exhibit to men are confidence, certainty, and just a general feeling of being relaxed. 

On the other hand, the least attractive traits are: desperation, insecurity, and feeling scarce. 

When you feel scarce you feel like this opportunity is a once and a lifetime opportunity. When you feel insecure you worry that you won’t be able to maintain his interest. When you feel desperate you feel like you have to HURRY. 

This combo of feelings causes you to try and speed things up in the beginning of the relationship and make things as secure as possible with the guy you are dating. 

At first, it may seem like you are just so caught up in the romance of it all, but more often than not, if your actions are coming from that fearful place, the relationship will fizzle out just as abruptly as it started. 

...

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Copy & Paste Texts For When He Is Pulling Away Or Acting Flaky

Everything you need to know.