Signs That He's Ready For a Relationship (And Signs That He's Not)

Often when we ask someone on a first date whether or not they’re looking for a relationship, it feels a little bit premature.

People can feel some pressure behind the question if we are asking because we don’t want to waste our time.

It takes time to uncover what a connection is and also what the character of another person is, and we can't really skip that by just asking on the first date if they’re ready for a relationship.

So how can you figure out if a connection is on the path towards being exclusive, and from exclusivity into a committed, loving, awesome relationship?

The best way to distinguish that is going to be with a little bit of investment of your time and a little bit of vulnerability.

Be willing to get to know someone. Be willing to be disappointed.

Ultimately, you're still not wasting time. You're still taking the fastest path towards exclusivity by being willing to risk a little bit.

The first sign that you could potentially be exclusive with someone down the road is that they are deeply curious about you, your life, your thoughts, and your feelings. 

On the other hand, when someone's not in that mindset, you may have all the fixings of a date but you'll feel that the emotional connection and substance is missing.

They want to hang out with you, but they don't ask you a lot of questions. They don't go levels deeper on the questions that they ask or the answers that you give them, and they also don't really feel invested with sharing a lot about themselves.

The second sign a relationship could develop is that the person shows up consistently and predictably in terms of communication and planning.

They don't leave a lot of room for doubt about whether the two of you are going to connect in the future.

This is a good sign that they're in that headspace of tending to and nurturing a relationship.

On the other hand, if they're not in that headspace, communication is going to be inconsistent and confusing. There won't be reliable planning, and you'll always be wondering if you're going to meet. That is a signal that someone is not ready to nurture a relationship.

Another sign you're dating someone who is interested in creating something meaningful is that they are not in a rush to have sex.

They are attracted to you. They're into you.

But if you're ever slowing down physical intimacy in any way, they are not at all fazed by it.

On the other hand, if they're not in the headspace of being open to long-term commitment, when you slow things down physically, you'll notice awkwardness, frustration, or maybe even pressure.

The reason for that is when someone's in the headspace of being ready for a relationship, their vision is more long term. They see the foreseeable future with you so they understand that physical intimacy will happen when it's time.

When someone is not in that headspace, their vision is pretty short term, so if sex is something they want, it has to happen now.

With these indicators, you’ll know if someone is showing up consistently and if they're really getting to know you within just two or three weeks of dating.

Then, after two or three dates you're going to feel more comfortable asking deeper questions.

Do you see yourself having kids? Do you ever see yourself getting married? What's your life bucket list?

Part of that is going to be relevant information in terms of whether your paths are aligned, but these questions are coming from the feeling of curiosity and wanting to get to know this person on a deeper level instead of just trying to figure out if they're wasting our time.

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This content was originally published on the Women's Dating and Confidence Podcast. Listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.