Have you ever dated somebody you really like, and then that person starts to feel very special and you start to feel very lucky, and all of a sudden scarcity mindset sets in?
The feeling can go from positive to negative really quickly.
At first you’re excited that you met somebody so awesome, and then you feel anxious about whether you could meet somebody that awesome again.
One trick that is very helpful and effective for relieving some of that feeling of scarcity is shifting our thinking from luck to deliberate creation.
Luck is amazing, but it can create anxiety because it feels completely out of your control.
Whenever you’re dating and you feel like an opportunity was just dropped on your lap, you might enjoy that opportunity at first but then feel really scarce and anxious about it.
Whenever you notice you’re in that mindset, journal 20 ways that you created this result.
How did I create this connection?
It wasn’t luck. It didn’t just happen.
There were things that you have been doing over the last several months or years that not only brought this opportunity into your life but also made you the person who is capable of connecting on this level with somebody.
Notice all of the little shifts that you made that led you to creating this opportunity.
Some of them might be mindset shifts that changed your thinking and the way that you feel.
Some of them might be actions that you took.
Some of them might not even be specifically related to dating.
Maybe you started focusing on building a fuller life and changed your energy state so when you did meet somebody cool you felt happy and fulfilled in general, and that was attractive to them.
There are so many little things we do that lead us to creating connections.
Even if it’s just a date you created this week, you did things to create that.
Doing this journaling prompt shows you what your process is.
Dating becomes a lot easier over time because you learn:
“When I’m thinking this way, when I'm in this energy state, and when I take these actions, I create these results.”
“Yes, this is a great opportunity and I'm the person who created this opportunity in the first place.”
“Maybe it is my first, but it won’t be my last if it doesn’t work out. I know how I did this. I'm responsible for the results in my dating life.”
How did I create this? How am I creating the results that I like? How did I create this connection?
Then you’ll see you’re in charge of creating connections, and if it doesn’t work out with this person you can recreate your result because you know exactly how you did it.
Want to go From Dating To Exclusive? Make sure you get on the waitlist for the next program. Click here to learn more.
This content was originally published on the Women's Dating and Confidence Podcast. Listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.