Amber Grubenmann

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How to Believe Things Before They Are True

Uncategorized Nov 15, 2022

This week I interviewed my own business coach, Elizabeth Salazar, for the podcast.

She teaches her clients how to manage their minds and create their goals. You can learn more about her work here.

Elizabeth has a tool called the Daily Thought Work, which is designed to focus your mind on a big goal. It reminds you what’s possible for the future, and it gets you into that state of directing everything about your day towards that.

The first step of the daily work is to remember your goal, and to feel it in a state of possibility.

Usually when we are just in the action mindset, we tend to do the same things over and over again.

When your thoughts are shaped intentionally, the actions you choose will change. Your mind is going to solve the problem more creatively, and you’re going to keep coming at the problem from every angle you can.

As Elizabeth observed, what gets in the way of her clients changing their mindset over time is thinking all their thoughts are true.

For example, women might think the thought that “men are awful” is true and helpful. 

They don’t test their thoughts by asking, “Does this create what I want?”

With the Daily Thought Work, we make one percent shifts in the way we are thinking and feeling, and it slightly changes the way we approach people, dating, and opportunities in general.

When I present new ideas to my clients, like “men want relationships,” they don’t have to believe me 100 percent. They find the part of themselves that believes it one percent, and that slowly grows over time.

 A big part of the daily work is accessing the feeling of “It’s done.” 

It’s a very solid and grounded feeling. You tell yourself there’s a point in the future when you're married and totally happy.

You can focus your mind on how much you learned and how much more accepting of yourself you are. You’re teaching your mind how to feel those feelings now.

Elizabeth shared a metaphor for the idea of “done”: it’s as if we have a piece of rope and we take it from where we are now and connect it to that done place.

We don’t know all the steps, but we are holding onto the rope. Step by step, we are getting to done. Sometimes the rope gets wrapped around a tree and loops a little, but we know where done is.

You don’t feel like you’re floating around. You’re attached to the result and you will get there. You’re attached and you’re not going to stop, and you keep creatively figuring out how to get there.

In my own Daily Thought Work, I imagine my clients ten years from now, and they’re all in the relationship that they want to be in.

It lets me coach them from a place of calm because I know they’re going to be in the loving relationship they’re looking for. I have confidence in them. It’s already complete.

The last step of the Daily Thought Work is, with the feeling of possibility, what is one action I can take towards my goal?

You can trust your brain to know the answer and go try it.

 ___

Want to go From Dating To Exclusive? Make sure you get on the waitlist for the next program. Click here to learn more. 

This content was originally published on the Women's Dating and Confidence Podcast. Listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify

 
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