Amber Grubenmann

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Going To Other People's Weddings

Uncategorized Aug 08, 2022

Last week, one of my clients was telling me about how she has been going to a lot of weddings this summer.

She has been feeling sad when she’s there because everybody else seems to be coupled up.

I suggested to her a few new ways she could think about being at other people’s weddings.

You can think about the experience of going to weddings differently by seeing examples of what's possible all around you.

The environment that we're in can have a big influence on what we see as possible for ourselves. A big limitation to believing in what we want to create is not seeing examples of it.

You could think of weddings as a mastermind meeting where it's actually a good thing to be around people who have something that you aspire to have.

I joined a business mastermind and it was very uncomfortable at first because at least 50% of the people in the mastermind were more successful than me.

But I also had to remind myself that that was part of why I joined that group. I knew that being around people who are more successful than I am would make me grow.

You can have that discomfort of feeling like you’re falling behind in some way, while at the same time appreciating that you have people around you who set examples for what you want to create in your life.

Being at weddings, and being around couples in general, can also solidify for us that love is not scarce.

Relationships are not scarce. People do this all the time, everywhere. 

Love is everywhere.  It's plentiful. It's available to you. 

I think that's important because sometimes when we've been single for a while, relationships feel like something that's really far away and very difficult to obtain.

All of those examples at weddings are helping us feel that it's normal and it’s possible.

And you can also look around you and see how many people are single and how normal that is too.

People of all ages are single, and it's equally normal to just be single for a while.

Some people go from one relationship to another. Some people are single for years and years.

And lastly, it's helpful to see positive, healthy examples of love up close.

It's different from in movies and books.

If you are around a real, happy couple, you will also see their little challenges, grievances, and annoyances.

You'll see how they think about each other and about relationships.

The reality of relationships can be very educational and helpful.

Remember during the next wedding you go to, we can redirect our minds away from pity or shame and instead see how much those situations actually benefit us.

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