Amber Grubenmann

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Dating Dollars

Uncategorized Sep 08, 2022

We all have a different amount of currency in our emotional bank account. That currency is made up of our time and our energy.

When we are dating, we spend our time and energy on other people in hopes of getting a return on our investment.

We hope that the time and energy we give comes back eventually as fulfillment from being in a relationship with an amazing person.

You will have a much better dating experience if you get your dating financial health in check.

Lately on the podcast we've been talking about how to build up this reserve with your friendships, your passion projects, work that you care about, personal interests, your health, and mindset work.

By doing that, you will start to feel an overflow of energy and positivity that you can then spend on other areas of life, such as dating.

But then when you go through a break up after you invested a lot of time and energy into someone, your emotional bank account is depleted.

It's kind of like you're in dating dollar debt.

You will first have to replenish your dating currency before you're ready to give more to dating.

It's important to not rush to spend your dating dollars as soon as you have a little bit in your account, especially if you've just had a situation that put you in dating debt temporarily.

Also make sure that you're not just saving up a bunch and then spending it all, repeatedly. 

You want your dating currency to be constantly replenished during the dating process.

Just think about actual finances.

If you've ever been in a situation where money was tight, you notice your energy around your process of giving and receiving is much more restricted.

There's attachment and anxiety about every dollar.

You don’t want to be there in dating either, where there’s pressure on every date to lead somewhere, and if it goes wrong it's a really big deal.

What about when you lose all of your dating dollars?

That's okay. We all lose it sometimes, and you can just get more. That's just part of investing.

 You can become a smarter investor.

Are you still taking unsmart dating dollar risks? 

So many of us take risks on the wrong things.

The forty percent guy is exactly like gambling.  

Four out of ten times when you pull the lever, they are responsive and affectionate. But the rest of the time they're not, but you keep putting your money in anyway.

Smart dating dollar risks are putting your dating dollars into something promising.

It's not guaranteed that the person you ask out is going to be the love of your life, but if you're seeing if so far they match all of the five elements of relationship material, it's a worthwhile risk.

The person who you know in your heart is not the person for you is not worth putting your money on.

Only date people who are good financial partners.

Check in with yourself about what is happening to your dating bank account in relation to this person.

You want to be building and growing both of your accounts together.

If you're spending more than you're receiving in this connection, that's not a good financial partner.

Maybe something was a good investment initially, and now it's not. It's tanking.

You have to be honest with yourself and not fall into the trap of continuing to invest in something just because you've already invested a ton into it.

Lastly, be generous.

That doesn't mean that you're making poor investments, but it does mean that you're willing to make investments in the first place.

Give that person a chance on a date. Explore the connection a little bit further.

When you are a generous person and you invest in dating, you will get a return on your investment.

Appreciate all of the ways that your dating dollars come back to you and what you get in exchange for them.

 ___

Want to go From Dating To Exclusive? Make sure you get on the waitlist for the next program. Click here to learn more. 

This content was originally published on the Women's Dating and Confidence Podcast. Listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify

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