When my clients come to me for help in dating, usually they start by sharing with me how long they've been single.
Of course, they want to figure out why they haven't been able to create the relationship that they want during that time.
While there can be many different factors, one thing that people usually don't consider is how long they've actually been “clean single.”
Clean single means you are consistently implementing strategies to create dates, and showing up fully for those dates.
Let's say you tell me that you've been single for a year, but you were in a situationship for eight months with a 40% guy.
During those eight months you were unavailable to other people to some extent. That's one year minus eight months where you weren't clean single.
Sometimes people take big breaks from dating, and that doesn’t count as being clean single either. Maybe you took three months off from dating.
So actually during the year you only dated “clean single” for one month.
Look at the amount of time you've been single and do that math for yourself.
How long were you involved with a 40% person? How long were you hung up on somebody? How long were you getting breadcrumbs and holding out hope? How long were you not dating at all? How long were you dating but not really showing up for it fully?
Subtract all of that from the time you've been single and then look at what are you left with.
Then we can talk about what new strategies to implement, what to do in dating to get better results, how to enjoy dating more, how to feel less anxious, how to have better dates, and how to guide your connections towards exclusivity.
But we have to start with clean single.
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